Emotions are a big part of being human, and learning to understand and manage them is a super important skill, especially for kids! This is what we call emotional intelligence. It’s about recognizing your own feelings and the feelings of others, and knowing how to react in different situations. When children develop strong emotional intelligence, they become better friends, better learners, and happier overall. Let’s dive into why emotional intelligence is so important and how we can help our kids grow in this area.

Recognizing and Naming Feelings

The first step in building emotional intelligence is helping children recognize and name their feelings. This means teaching them a vocabulary for emotions beyond just ‘happy’ or ‘sad.’ We can help them identify feelings like frustration, excitement, anger, or calm. When a child can say, “I feel frustrated because my tower keeps falling down,” they are taking a big step towards understanding their emotions. Parents can help by validating their feelings and offering words to describe what they might be experiencing. Children need the experience of feeling emotions and practice tolerating them to develop self-control and emotional intelligence [1].

“Children need the experience of feeling emotions and practice tolerating them to develop self-control and emotional intelligence.” [1]

Empathy: Understanding Others’ Feelings

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding our own feelings; it’s also about understanding the feelings of others, which is called empathy. We can help children develop empathy by talking about how others might feel in different situations. For example, “How do you think your friend felt when you shared your toy?” or “Why do you think that character in the book is sad?” Encouraging perspective-taking helps children build stronger relationships and respond kindly to others. Children with higher emotional intelligence are better able to pay attention, are more engaged in school, have more positive relationships, and are more successful [2].

Managing Emotions: Healthy Coping Skills

Once children can recognize their feelings, the next step is to learn healthy ways to manage them. This doesn’t mean suppressing emotions, but rather expressing them in appropriate ways. Teaching coping skills like deep breathing, taking a break, talking about their feelings, or engaging in a calming activity can help children regulate their emotions. For instance, when feeling angry, a child might learn to count to ten or draw a picture of their anger instead of yelling. These skills are crucial for building resilience and navigating life’s challenges.

Building Resilience: Bouncing Back from Challenges

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficulties and challenges. Emotional intelligence plays a big role in building resilience. When children understand their emotions and have coping strategies, they are better equipped to face setbacks. Parents can foster resilience by allowing children to experience and work through challenges, offering support and encouragement rather than immediately solving problems for them. Celebrating small victories and focusing on effort rather than just outcomes also helps children develop a resilient mindset.

Q&A

Q1: What is emotional intelligence for kids?
A1: Emotional intelligence for kids is the ability to understand and manage their own feelings, as well as recognize and respond to the feelings of others.

Q2: How can parents help children recognize their feelings?
A2: Parents can help by teaching children a vocabulary for emotions, validating their feelings, and offering words to describe what they might be experiencing.

Q3: What are some healthy coping skills for children?
A3: Healthy coping skills include deep breathing, taking a break, talking about their feelings, or engaging in a calming activity.

Sources

[1] Gottman. (2025). How to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence. https://www.gottman.com/blog/strengthen-childs-emotional-intelligence/
[2] NAEYC. (n.d.). Teaching Emotional Intelligence in Early Childhood. https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/mar2017/teaching-emotional-intelligence